Where for art though MEAT?

Sweet bajesus I am exhausted, on day 11 of a 12 day work festival. I don’t know why but for some reason the last few nights I have been unable to sleep. It’s like my spidey sense is tingling all night long. I seem to be in a constant state of semi-alertness as though Doc Oc is going to slam through my wall like the kool-aid man at any moment. Because of this I am insanely looking forward to Saturday when I get to wake up when I wake up and not to the sound of my alarm (assuming these rat bastids don’t give me mandatory).

Mike and I nerded it up something fierce yesterday, him more so then I (damn your internet technology sir!) and spent the whole day looking at Dawn of War crap online. I then was unable to fight off the urge to play some delicious Dawn last night. It was very satisfying; I found a new love for the Imperial Guard. After my delicious Dawn I watched the Cavs/76ers game. The Cavs still don’t look ‘great’ to me, I know they are putting a hurting on everyone, but they still don’t look awesome. Mo and LeBron are pretty insanely glorious, but NO ONE else impresses me. In the end I sort of wish I didn’t watch the game, because Elton Brand ended up looking like a post op Chris Webber which made me totally sad. Hopefully he can get his act together because the rest of the 76ers looked pretty decent out there. I also don’t get the Bobcats/Suns trade…. It doesn’t seem to help out either team very much, seemed a lot like treading water, I hope it works out for the Suns because I luv luv luv Steve-O Nash and Amare.

On the home front the Bob Empire recently had to give up ground against its mortal enemy the Jyesika commune. On the meat enriched planes of Moocowtasia the ravenous hordes of Bobians were driven back to the tasteless wastes of Vegiland. I tried to enact a total war strategy and burn all that was left behind, but unfortunately I can still remember the good times Meat and I once shared. The sweet sound of a kielbasa singing my belly to sleep, the nurturing hands of pork roast soothing my worries, the soft pillowy delight of steak, and the joy bringing embrace of my best friend Jerky. I’m sure my warriors will still venture out into the cold and forbidding Vegiland and scavenge what scant meat is available, but the Glory days of Meat on tap are now but a memory of a better time.

It also appears as though I might have some sort of allergy to Milk, which if proven right might just cause me to kill myself. Who can live in a world with no Bread, Milk or Meat? If only I was some sort of cybernetic-metrosexual-Hippy I might have a chance to survive in a world devoid of flavor; but I fear I’m not strong enough. I’m hoping once the milk products run dry in my house and I live off of what I can only imagine would be water, rice and dust that I will still be sick leaving me to look for another villain. As much as I don’t want to be sick all the time anymore, I nearly equally want to eat what I fuxin WANT! What kind of A-hole genes did I get anyway? Here’s a taste of life Bob, and ohh yea, that life that you taste, you can never actually eat that because your going to be allergic to everything, suck on that bitch! Couldn’t I have just come out retarded and not given a rats because I like to eat towels? (if your offended by that, well… I don’t give a rats; bugger off!). But nooo, I’m only half broken, like an old TV that you have to get up to change the channel on; you know there is something better out there, but you can’t access it….

Mmmk, all done feeling sorry for myself now.

I recently found out the power of ‘marketing’ when Macstore.com rolled a 1 on its Marketing save. Jessica and I were going to get a 47in Westinghouse from that same website, and part of the deal was a free wall mount (of little to insignificant value, I didn’t even know about that when I first chose to get the TV from their website). Anyway when I went to ‘double check’ that the TV would still be for sale this Monday when we had planned on purchasing it I discovered that the free wall mount was no longer part of the bargain. I was confused so I searched around for another deal on the TV mostly out of curiosity… To make a long story short in this search I decided that I instead wanted a Toshiba 42in and am now going to be making that purchase instead of Westy. So suck on that Macstore.com shoulda kept your meaningless free candy on the counter; or at least named yourself after a computer with some balls.