Blogasm

I've neglected my blog for way-way-way to long, so this post is going to be a doozy I'm afraid. I'll try not to waste too much time with cutesy writing, but I make no promises.

My brain is pretty horrible about figuring out what events occured in what order after a week has passed, but I'll attempt to chronicle in order. We'll start with my birfday.

I think it's a good thing that I don't give a rats about birfdays cause this one was literally unmemorable. The unmemorable glory of my birfday started with my loving wife forgetting that it was my birfday and wondering why it is that my brother would be calling me in the morning and causing me to give him thanks. Following this was the usual hectic hell that comes right before leaving for a trip. This years trip to interfuse was pretty lazy in that I easily got all of our stuff ready to go while waiting on Mike's eventual wake-up from eternal slumber. We then piled junk into the truck and trailer and headed for Boonville to celebrate obesity in the wilds of Mizzou.

The drive out was easy breazy until we arrived to find someone had replaced the 'roads' you drive around the campsite on with diarrhea. This had the same disheartening effect on my wife as being the victim of first blood holds for Drama. Meaning that she was ready to fold faster then the French. I was originally rather pissed as I had sandals on and the slog to our campsite carrying only about 1/15th of our stuff took me a good 20 minutes. Then I realized I could simply take my shoes off and do the backwoods moonwalk all over that muck. While this was a GREAT idea for the duration of Thursday the HUGE thorn I removed from my foot a week later begs to differ as to it being a swell idea over all. Mike and I then decided to raise our spirits and tossed down alcohol at what I can only assume is a similar rate to what the ruskies would use before charging out of a foxhole. During this period we met a fantastic man who shared with us his 100 proof and delicious hot damn! We also managed to get the 1 yes : 50 no ratio we felt was good enuf and drove our happy truck down diarrhea boulevard. It was really fun but left us with a nagging fear for the rest of the week that much like Iraq we had a dismal exit strategy.

We then began to setup camp which required the making of hooch (1 part vodka, 1 part water, 1 part shame, 1 part dignity, mixer). this might have raised my spirits a little to high as I aparently angered 'camp vagina' (their real name) by mistakenly yelling at them when I was attempting to yell at some other fools instead. Mike and I then celebrated the raising of the dome and the application of the parachute with more drinking. My memory after this is basically: glug, stumble, stumble, SHIBLEE! (how was that spelled? a wine jug from awesome people basically), stumble, darkness..... uhhhhg, cold... stumble...zzzzz. This is why the rest of my birthday is unmemorable. From what I've been told Mike and I got so destroyed that I spent the night passed out under the stars on a patch of grass and Mike spent the night half out of his tent puking out the entrance. Pretty superb start to the trip, but it left few memories in its wake. Ohh and we apparently forgot to tie down the parachute as it was mostly on the ground the next morning, oops!

The next morning I awoke to a cold and dreary day. This day continued to be cold and dreary and was only highlighted by the arrival of Mark and Jess. I spent the rest of the day bitching about the cold and casually drinking. The next day was really nice out and I had a great day filled with trampolines and frizbee. Unfortunately we ran out of alcholo (I know, the SHAME!) so I was more or less lame that evening. But the 'burn' at the end of interfuse this year was AWESOME. It had everything you could want, huge fireworks display, mind numbingly loud explosions and enuf backwoods engineers to cause a couple of fireworks to shoot into the crowd. Overall I give interfuse this year a C. Ohh and we did escape the Muck pretty damn well!

I'm sure 'something' happened the weekend between interfuse and crankstastic weekend o fun and excitement, but I can't think of what it was. I think I played some Tennis maybe... Or perhaps that is when I saw Startrek, I'm really not certain... anywho! The next weekend in my memory started with a really drunken night of DnD in which we offered up John's lady friend Pichu as a sexual subway token. It met with limited success which is probably more then we could hope for. After the game John/Mark/myself went out to bars where we met up with Tripp, his lady and Scott. What I remember of this was a great time. I know straight vodka shots were bought for me and I know I played some pool. I have some random memory of a redhead and I think they were out of popcorn... Ohh and we played the nudity vidjeo game a bunch. It was a really solid night, I think I got home around 3:00, no complaints!

This was followed up by us getting CRANKED on a Friday night. This probably requires more explanation. We missed out on Crank 2 in theatre's and decided to have a Crank themed drinking and debauchery night much as we do on our zombie nights. On zombie nights we drink zombies (a rum heavy drink that is really good and incites the rape of 14 yr olds); but this night we needed something in keeping with the theme. If you have ever seen Crank or Crank 2 ( I suggest watching them both, in no particular order) you know it is basically adrenaline insanity for 2ish hours. To meet this demand we rocked Jagger bombs, Monster-vodka's and SPARKS. Suffice to say we were JACKED. On zombie night we usually eat some kind of meat on bone (duh) and so tonight we wanted something that was a full meal and could also be devoured in short order; thus the invention of Blendaco's! (patent pending)

Blendaco is basically all the tasty you want in a taco only put into a blender until it looks like cat food, yum! It consisted of a couple lbs of beef, a TON of Baja sauce, 4 tomatoes, a bag of cheese, a half bag of Frito's, jalapenos, and Spice. We ended up eating it with Frito scoops and it was surprisingly really tasty; I blame the baja sauce for this strange delicious result. After Crank 2 we watched Riki-Oh: The story of Ricky. This is an old Japanese film that is responsible for half of the really ridiculous fight scenes floating around on the Internet (old boy covers the other 50 percent, heh); it lived up to its reputation nicely. We followed that up with Kung Fu Hustle, a solidly good time. We then manged to get Pichu to drive Mark and myself to mass street for some fun having. We played darts and had much laughter. After returning to Marks I found out why Pichu was difficult to coax a drive out of. I had apparently insulted her earlier in the night (a frequent side-effect of Bobamine) but we made friends later I hope. I got home around 5:00 that night, I needed to sober up and I had a TON of energy drink wrecking havoc on my body.

The next night was the Bone's is GTFO of Kansas party. She threw a party for herself and her gaggle-o-hotness. It didn't have the legendarily huge turnout we were hopping for, but it was a pretty fun night. I hope I didn't piss anyone off to much, but I didn't get that drunk so I don't think I caused to much ruckus. Unfortunately this night had some kind of Brunk (a drunk Brawl) gone wild. Mike/John/Mark tried to get me into a shed, I thought this was less then a good idea. wrastlin' ensued. The net of this is a hairline fracture in Marks elbow and another twist for Drama's skankles. Mike and I managed to escape with only sore necks, hurray! Btw thanks for the party Angelumps!

This weekend actually topped the days I spent drunk from 3 to 4, but I wasn't AS hammered on most of them. Thursday night was a repeat of Drunken DnD. Only this night we rocked out on that so long we couldn't even make it to bars and I was so tired from my week at work I was literally falling asleep at the table before we finished. It was great fun as always though, Drama is one amusing DM with his 'easy' fights that get us all killed, haha. Friday I spent the day seeing a really really long showing of Angels and Demons, it was about 5 hours long. Supposedly some kind of Terminator movie went on during this period but the last Terminator movie I'll ever swear to seeing was T2, the rest is all lies! To blackout the memory of whatever happened at AMC 30 that day I spent the rest of the evening enjoying Margaritas and Long Islands. MrDer and I went to the bars later that night were we got to watch a friend of Gela's and her bro have an uncomfortable moment together. I was hoping for a drama explosion to come forth, but was denied. Saturday was basically just Mark, Jys and myself drinking all day long and playing vidgeo games. Pretty lame, but enjoyable all the same. Everyone else was out of town so that is how we rolled.

Sunday I spent all day cleaning house and fixing various things. I made my tool closet even more spectacular, basically because I had to as I've got a new 12in Single Bevil chop saw in the mail! jessica spent the day cleaning the out-of-doors and indoors as well. That night we hosted a small bbq + bonfire, we had about 8-10 friends come out for it. The weather ended up being very nice and we had a fun night. I chased the rainbow a couple of times, got in a fine amount of hookah on our deck and we even broke out some glow and danced. I wish this would stop happening at EVERY party I throw as it will eventually lose its luster, but I can't very well stop the drunks from breaking them out, haha. And it's always been a good time (so far). Oh and I saw Ben's new motor cycle. I bet all of us got extra attention from our significant others that evening due to residual Ben manliness. Yesterday was basically just recuperating and watching a couple of the NBA games I had recorded but remained unwatched. I finally saw Annie Hall the 'famous' Woody Allen movie. I liked it about as much as I thought I would.

Other then that about all I've been up to is watching a ton of basketball, and that is all I'll probably be up to this week. Oh, and I remembered that part of that empty time in my memory was probably the making of the short term chicken coop. The chickens are much more enjoyable now that they are outside. And they make Jessica happy enough to deal with how much they sometimes will irritate me to think about. I dug some post holes for the new coop but Home Depot was out of concrete posting tubes so I couldn't lay down the concrete yet. I hope to do that tomorrow if it's dry enough and home Depot has the molds in stock, if not then maybe on Friday/Saturday.

When writing a huge post like this it sure makes me hope I can find the right phone soon. It would be nice to have pictures to go along with this post, but my current phone takes really horrible pictures and the bugger doesn't really work right now anyway. Anywho if you actually read that long and poorly written post I salute you! Feel free to post comments, they are always appreciated.