It's been a while

Well folks it's been quite some time since I last blogged and I don't really want to take the time to type up the ridiculous amount of stuff I've been up to since this was last posted. I'm only going to mention a couple of things that transpired and were fun but I can't find picture evidence of. The first is just the continuation of DnD. I'm still lugging my halfwit, butterfly engaged brother through this Moraden forsaken hell hole of an island, and loving every second of it. I'll soon (hopefully) be kicking off my own campaign again with a bit of a reboot, wish me luck folks! Ohh and if anyone besides John and Mark want in let me know!

We also finally got ourselves outside for a rousing game of paintball. It was like a kiddy version of what I picture Vietnam to have been like (from the movies). Shortly after we headed out it began to rain so the whole jungle (forest/backyard) was alive with the sound of rain, and since we were all more or less in camo it was hard to tell the difference between a leaf being knocked around in the rain, and an enemy combatant(lets pretend we can all a paintballer something that hardcore). It was great fun, and I used very few paintballs which is always nice. On the downside Mark's paintballs became the one nacho of paintballs days after this event... I'm not sure if I told you that yet Mark. But yea yur paintballs got ruined, they were to old for the humidity or something.

The last thing has been going on much more recently and that is FUN IN THE SUN! We have recently (thanks to Schweppes cousin whom I hope to trick into hanging out with us, he seemed like a nice enough chap) began visiting the splendor of the Clinton Lake 'beach'. Admittedly it's no white sanded beach of wonder and merriment, it's basically sand box sand with muddy colored water. But in Kansas you take what you can get and on those hot sunny days it has been a god send. I can't express enough how much I've enjoyed just laying out in the sun on the 'beach' and swimming around with it's sorta waves, mostly caused by boats. Fun, fun, fun. It looks to get HOT and SUNNY by Thursday this week so I fully intend to spend another Thurs/Fri/Sat/Sun (one or all of those days) at the beach this weekend as well.

Just so you haters know the above events all went on mostly without the use of alcohol, so FUN can be had without... but you may also notice a lack of pictures... I sense correlation! Also I forgot to make an actually useful link to the 4th of July video's so here is a lazy man link!

http://www.youtube.com/user/damonish

Without further ado, pictures and a short blurb to give them context!

This would be myself and Jones lazing around at interfuse, while this is not in the least a representative picture of the event (where is the mud?!?) I wanted some picture up of it happening.

My gym at work, Not really a happening, but if anyone has been curious where I do my beefing, this be the place.

An actual recent event! I just liked this picture of myself from the canoe trip we went on. (yes the same canoe trip where my wedding ring got tired of my shenanigans). Don't I look fantastically hillbilly-rific?

This is a generic group shot from the canoe trip. The current level of hat disintegration tells me this must be around halfway through the trip.

I spent alot of time rocking a Gondola like pose. I especially like this picture because it sorta looks like I'm canoeing in Julie's Canoe... Uhh ohh tony. I'm in yur base, stealing yur girlz!

the Rivah! Plus Pichu(I put bicho there for a second...hmm something Freudian to be learned from that) backside!

And now you can tell that we are near the end of the trip for the hat has nearly finished it's metamorphosis into a useless hunk of goo.

Pichu through a 'pajama party' for her 21st birthday party (surely we are done with these NOW right???that's right I'm looking at you Harry!). It quickly became the least Hetero thing I've ever done; and yes, that includes that night of passion and magic mr. Jones.

A monument to consumerism with a backwoods flavor or the beginning of a bonfire? You decide! (from the 4th 'o' July)

Admit idly you can't look classy drinking out of the wonder snake no matter how you do it, but I think you can probably do better then I did.

Olay, Olay Olay OLAAAY!

Somehow our hot tub deck has become this hang out space that I choose to dub 'Danger Deck'. Sure you can see a perfectly usable deck with safety rails above in the picture; but does it come equipped with Hookah attachments? I think not!

A preview of the 80's glory still to come!

The beginnings of a dubious plan to try (and party succeed) to hurt one another

This picture is quiet simply an Ode to Joy

I hope you've enjoyed looking at pictures you have already seen and quiet recently at that... bugger off!

Ohh, and just so I can have this memory for later... That had to of been the weirdest, lamest, strangest NBA draft and subsequent beginnings of free agency I can remember.

Pain Train Cometh

This past week was one of the more PAINFUL weeks I've experienced for quite some time. If my memory serves it all began on Tuesday. I don't know exactly what I did to my neck/back that day, but I think it happened in the gym while doing shoulder exercises. At any rate by 8:00pm or so that night I had a horrible crank in the neck and had a difficult time sleeping comfortably that night. The next morning I took some Ibuprofen and felt pretty good by about halfway through the day. By then end of that evening I didn't even remember having neck pains and I went to the gym like usual.

I got into maybe the third or so rep on my very first bicep exercise and felt and heard a 'pop' in my neck/shoulders; and everything suddenly became very TIGHT. I set the weights down and tried to relax my neck and stretch it out. I then tried to continue with the work out but couldn't make myself do it through the pain. The rest of that night and most of the next morning were spent in alot of pain, everyone at work was calling me lurch since I would turn my entire body to look in different directions. We got off work early that day and by 3:00 I was feeling alot better (albiet with ALOT of pain killers) and I went ahead and picked up the cement bags from Home Depot for the chicken coop project.

Later that night we rocked out on some DnD, this was as fun as it always is. I'm retarded proud of John and the rest of us for keeping this going, I really need to get a working computer again (Harry) so I can get caught up on Dwarf Fortress and my own DnD campaign. NBA basketball is slowing down so I should have time for these projects now. Anyway I ended up asleep on their couch until like 3:00AM, I'm not real sure how I got there, but I guess I was very sleepy.

Friday morning I woke up with the usual neck pain (only much less terrible then the days before) and took a fist full of ibuprofen to battle that as I do every morning (and continue to do). After waiting an hour or so for that to kick in I started on the cement post pouring project. This went mostly smooth considering I was alone and had some really irritating bumble bee's hanging out. The posts came out looking a little sloppy at the base since I was trying to get maximum height there was some spill out plus I started the posts really high up. But other then fighting with that I don't really remember anything out of the ordinary but yet when I came inside I found I had a new friend in my right boot sock. Welcome to earth my dear friend FRANKEN-TOE! (at this point I would startle you with a horrifying picture, but as I don't have a new phone yet, no picture)

I'm not sure what happened out in that backyard but somehow I managed to break (I think) my pinkie toe and when I took my boot + sock off it was a purple and bruised, swollen, hellish sight. I've been self medicating with either Ibuprofen or alcohol more or less nonstop since that happened. But luckily it's just a useless little toe so I don't have to do anything special besides wait for it to stop hurting, and when I get to be shoeless or rock sandals it doesn't really hurt much at all. Friday evening was spent hanging out with various miscreants, mostly John and the lovely miss Jyesika. Eventually we saw KT for like an hour, went to a bar, and then immediately after paying a $3 each cover was informed it was time to go home by the previously mentioned lovely lady.

Now we come to Saturday and an event that will live on in song and story for many years to come... Michael 'The Day sleeper' Harry actually showed up to my house at 10:20AM, you read that right, it said AM! for a trip out to Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun. I was completely un prepared for his quick arrival, we still got out the door by 10:35ish, but I was flabbergasted to say the least. I think Jess actually gets about 99.9999% of the credit for an awake an on time Mike, but impressive all the same. We then headed out to Wof/OoF wonderland. We shared some alc beverages in the parking lot, rode a couple rides, ate some grub then headed to Oceans of Fun.

I ran into a few coworkers I actually enjoy running into and I got a chance to see Sam, which is always nice. I'm not sure why I was forced to walk people over to Oceans of fun in more or less a forced march because in my opinion Oceans of Fun is hands down a better time then WoF. The lines are shorter and more fun to stand around in since yur wet and have water all over the place. Plus most of what you do there doesn't even have lines (wave pool, lazy river, adult area, kid land!). And the single funnest thing to do in ether park exists in OoF, the fantastically fun Lilly Pads! Mark and I were forced to watch Mike cheat his way across and MrDer walk across it like he's walking to get the mail. Mark, John myself and the rest of the gang gave it all it wanted though, we slowly, horribly made our way maaaybe halfway before crashing into pits of laughing joy. There is just nothing more fun then the 'make your own fun' type of situations. I also did the usual fight for your life swim in the wave pool. Much water was swallowed.

WoF was it's usual self, which is good cause I'm not knocking it by saying OoF is better, I like them both. The new ride is pretty great, it's a wooden coaster but as it's brand new the ride is a billion times smoother then old Timberwolf. And I felt like it was a pretty long coaster ride. The other wooden coaster is one haggard mess of a ride. We all took a trip down the pain train and came out bruised as though we talked back to our husbands. The best ride at the park is still Patriot and I rode it at least twice, maybe I even rode it three times, it's fan-fuggin-tastic. We eventually left WoF around 10:30 and decided to cancel paintball for the next day as we were all pretty worn to a nub; plus I had the toe to consider.

Sunday was spent at Home depot and working on a bathroom project at home. Jessica did probably 75% of the work on that, I helped for a while, got irritated and watched the NBA finals. Pretty lame Sunday but it was good for recuperation. Work this week has been AWFUL. My toe kills me all day in these boots and on this cement pavement. On top of that I seem to be coming down with some kind of cold/flu. But I'm hopeful this will all get cleared up before the float trip I go on this weekend.

In non Bob only news, my sister Mindy had her baby yesterday! I've got a brand new nephew "Jeffery Lee Hickey". Planing on seeing him tonight. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll feel better. Jessica's garden has been going really well, I'm super proud of her. She's done almost all of it all on her own, I only really help when it comes to hauling stuff around and not being mad at her for throwing whatever money is needed at it. Hmm, totally not going to proof read any of this. Welp there are other things going on like my computer getting windows 7, Dwarf Fortress needing played, etc. But I'm tired of typing, so...

..

.

Cram it in my Cram hole

Last weekend was the first 'breather' weekend I've had for a while, and probably the last one I'll have for a while after. It wasn't even a breather weekend on purpose we just happened to ignore the times in which the paintball store would be open and failed to rock some paintball, alas. Hopefully that is remedied this weekend, but there are no real plans yet. The fun I do have coming up this weekend for sure are some more tasty DnD and a hopefully super fun trip to Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun via a Ride'n'Slide ticket. My work was especially cool and is including a free meal and free 'all day' fountain drinks. Hopefully it goes swimmingly, I'll update on that next week. The week after that is our Float Trip, should be drunken debauchery at it's finest. And the week after that has our throwback 80's party! Which still only has 9 people signed up to attend, chumon you useless gits; TUBULAR TIMES AWAIT YOU! Call yur buds!

Now on to the recent past, I can't really remember what went down through the week any longer until Thursday rolled around. I imagine it involved reading the Internets, salivating over this or that and watching TV. But Thursday kicked it up a notch in the form of DnD fun once again. I'm completely flabbergasted and impressed with how often Drama has managed to consecutively host our game, he deserves a standing O just for throwing down for this long, and they have been very fun games. I think he is definitely assisted by the ease of 4th ed opposed to 3.5; but it's still an achievement. As a double bonus to this week ORION of Legend and Lore was in town so he played with us and then hit Mass street along side our merry gang.

I know we went to the Lion, and I think we played some darts, beyond that I can't think of anything else we did. On the walk there, at the bar and on the walk back Orion and I decided it was a good idea to randomly punch each other. It wasn't bad that night and I wasn't sore the next morning but my gawd did it every make my ab work outs a painful affair that next day.

Friday as you can see below was ZOMBIE NIGHT!

It's a blurry Bob! there was a picture I liked more but I think it must have been taken on Mark's phone because I haven't seen it online and he is a lazy useless bugger.

Behold, the shaming of the Schwumps!

This night started off in a most foul manner. We only had about half the ingredients for the 'zombie' rum based beverage we enjoy on zombie nights so we decided to sort of 'wing' the rest. We ended up with Captain Morgan Spiced Silver rather then something more along the lines of a Bacardi Silver, but that wasn't the most shameful change. In the name of saving wallet greens MrDer decided to skimp on the Grenadine and Lime juice and instead bought this cheap garbage that was basically comprised of High Fructose Corn Syrup and fail. They were really really awful, I don't think any of us managed to choke down more then one mug full, I moved on to the tried and true Long Island Iced Tea (and a damned huge one at that).

As for the zombie watching portion of the night we took in Ded Sno (Norwegian I think?). It was pretty excellent, it started off really slow, but when Zack Morris starting turning on the awesome it didn't turn off again. This movie had a couple iconic moments for me in no particular order..
1.) For the first time ever I saw a human bite a zombie in defense before he got bitten.
2.) it gave me the phrase "slammin 2's" Used in a sentence "Damn that honey has a top notch Ace, hopefully I'll be slammin 2's tonight!"
3.)A sex scene to rival my ever popular 'screwin in duh mud' from Enemy at the gates. Anyways this one involved an outhouse, a fat loser and a woman with a heart of gold.

The second zombie movie was much much much less impressive. It goes by the name of Black Sheep and it's a movie about zombie sheep. Don't be confused by what I just told you, it truly is as terrible as it sounds. Mike was in some sort of BJ soaked miasma and somehow thought it was a fine film to watch. As you can see above I came dressed to the nines. You can't see it in the picture but I was rocking some really stellar (IMO) shredded jeans, I thankfully didn't throw up anywhere to close out the night so this outfit can make a repeat performance! Everyone else eventually got zombied up and we headed out to town... but first!

Poor poor schwumps went and fell asleep a little to early in the night. We were kind hearted at first and tucked him in with Pichu's lil pink blanket and even helped him kick off his shoes. But then the degenerate in all of us kicked in and I came up with the plan of 'lets pile stuff on him!' We then proceded to follow through with this brilliant stratagem. All in all he had like 6 chairs and various other random 'stuff' we then left him to disaster. Ohh I forgot to mention before, apparently lame ass bingo ink makes for fine blood in a pinch.

The time we spent on Mass were used chasing cars (and laughing as they would drive on the other side of the road to avoid our zombie dirg!), Chasing people and biting a fair amount of them, doing what I could to get us in a fight with anyone that was asking for it, and laughing at protective boyfriend and his insertion between himself and our group. On the waltz home we accidentally (obviously) found ourselves on the pool side of the fence protecting said pool. Mike went a took a clothing optional dip into the pool but immediately gave me a report of its chilling touch, I cheesed it back over the fence, that I had mysteriously ended up on the wrong side of, with a quickness. Somehow I got covered in thorns on the down stroke. Upon returned home we found that not only was schwumps still covered in excitement but that he was in fact actually cuddling with one of the chairs while he slept. Drama had a senior moment and turned the light on before he even had his camera retrieved so we weren't able to get a picture, but it was funny; let me assure you of that.

The next day was burnt up at an all day belated mothers day extravaganza in Garnet with J Paul and the fam. The food was RIDICULOUS tasty, I couldn't stop eating. I'm pretty sure I didn't' eat another thing that day and still went to bed full. It was a good time filled with porch sitting and discussions of 'stuff'. Sunday was supposed to be either paintball day or cement post day. It ended up being a gardening day. It was mostly relaxing and nice. It was pretty spectacular to have a low key Sat/Sun after the previous weeks and before the upcoming schedule.

Denver ended up failing me, so now Hamids prediction of Lakers Magic! is actually coming true. I'm a true believer of Orlando though, so I believe that they have a real shot at putting down the Lakers. I think their 6th man all star will do a pretty solid job of slowing down Kobe Bryant. Or at least as well as you can expect him to be able to. I look forward to that series starting up on umm Thursday I think.

Abde Abde abde, that's all folks.

Blogasm

I've neglected my blog for way-way-way to long, so this post is going to be a doozy I'm afraid. I'll try not to waste too much time with cutesy writing, but I make no promises.

My brain is pretty horrible about figuring out what events occured in what order after a week has passed, but I'll attempt to chronicle in order. We'll start with my birfday.

I think it's a good thing that I don't give a rats about birfdays cause this one was literally unmemorable. The unmemorable glory of my birfday started with my loving wife forgetting that it was my birfday and wondering why it is that my brother would be calling me in the morning and causing me to give him thanks. Following this was the usual hectic hell that comes right before leaving for a trip. This years trip to interfuse was pretty lazy in that I easily got all of our stuff ready to go while waiting on Mike's eventual wake-up from eternal slumber. We then piled junk into the truck and trailer and headed for Boonville to celebrate obesity in the wilds of Mizzou.

The drive out was easy breazy until we arrived to find someone had replaced the 'roads' you drive around the campsite on with diarrhea. This had the same disheartening effect on my wife as being the victim of first blood holds for Drama. Meaning that she was ready to fold faster then the French. I was originally rather pissed as I had sandals on and the slog to our campsite carrying only about 1/15th of our stuff took me a good 20 minutes. Then I realized I could simply take my shoes off and do the backwoods moonwalk all over that muck. While this was a GREAT idea for the duration of Thursday the HUGE thorn I removed from my foot a week later begs to differ as to it being a swell idea over all. Mike and I then decided to raise our spirits and tossed down alcohol at what I can only assume is a similar rate to what the ruskies would use before charging out of a foxhole. During this period we met a fantastic man who shared with us his 100 proof and delicious hot damn! We also managed to get the 1 yes : 50 no ratio we felt was good enuf and drove our happy truck down diarrhea boulevard. It was really fun but left us with a nagging fear for the rest of the week that much like Iraq we had a dismal exit strategy.

We then began to setup camp which required the making of hooch (1 part vodka, 1 part water, 1 part shame, 1 part dignity, mixer). this might have raised my spirits a little to high as I aparently angered 'camp vagina' (their real name) by mistakenly yelling at them when I was attempting to yell at some other fools instead. Mike and I then celebrated the raising of the dome and the application of the parachute with more drinking. My memory after this is basically: glug, stumble, stumble, SHIBLEE! (how was that spelled? a wine jug from awesome people basically), stumble, darkness..... uhhhhg, cold... stumble...zzzzz. This is why the rest of my birthday is unmemorable. From what I've been told Mike and I got so destroyed that I spent the night passed out under the stars on a patch of grass and Mike spent the night half out of his tent puking out the entrance. Pretty superb start to the trip, but it left few memories in its wake. Ohh and we apparently forgot to tie down the parachute as it was mostly on the ground the next morning, oops!

The next morning I awoke to a cold and dreary day. This day continued to be cold and dreary and was only highlighted by the arrival of Mark and Jess. I spent the rest of the day bitching about the cold and casually drinking. The next day was really nice out and I had a great day filled with trampolines and frizbee. Unfortunately we ran out of alcholo (I know, the SHAME!) so I was more or less lame that evening. But the 'burn' at the end of interfuse this year was AWESOME. It had everything you could want, huge fireworks display, mind numbingly loud explosions and enuf backwoods engineers to cause a couple of fireworks to shoot into the crowd. Overall I give interfuse this year a C. Ohh and we did escape the Muck pretty damn well!

I'm sure 'something' happened the weekend between interfuse and crankstastic weekend o fun and excitement, but I can't think of what it was. I think I played some Tennis maybe... Or perhaps that is when I saw Startrek, I'm really not certain... anywho! The next weekend in my memory started with a really drunken night of DnD in which we offered up John's lady friend Pichu as a sexual subway token. It met with limited success which is probably more then we could hope for. After the game John/Mark/myself went out to bars where we met up with Tripp, his lady and Scott. What I remember of this was a great time. I know straight vodka shots were bought for me and I know I played some pool. I have some random memory of a redhead and I think they were out of popcorn... Ohh and we played the nudity vidjeo game a bunch. It was a really solid night, I think I got home around 3:00, no complaints!

This was followed up by us getting CRANKED on a Friday night. This probably requires more explanation. We missed out on Crank 2 in theatre's and decided to have a Crank themed drinking and debauchery night much as we do on our zombie nights. On zombie nights we drink zombies (a rum heavy drink that is really good and incites the rape of 14 yr olds); but this night we needed something in keeping with the theme. If you have ever seen Crank or Crank 2 ( I suggest watching them both, in no particular order) you know it is basically adrenaline insanity for 2ish hours. To meet this demand we rocked Jagger bombs, Monster-vodka's and SPARKS. Suffice to say we were JACKED. On zombie night we usually eat some kind of meat on bone (duh) and so tonight we wanted something that was a full meal and could also be devoured in short order; thus the invention of Blendaco's! (patent pending)

Blendaco is basically all the tasty you want in a taco only put into a blender until it looks like cat food, yum! It consisted of a couple lbs of beef, a TON of Baja sauce, 4 tomatoes, a bag of cheese, a half bag of Frito's, jalapenos, and Spice. We ended up eating it with Frito scoops and it was surprisingly really tasty; I blame the baja sauce for this strange delicious result. After Crank 2 we watched Riki-Oh: The story of Ricky. This is an old Japanese film that is responsible for half of the really ridiculous fight scenes floating around on the Internet (old boy covers the other 50 percent, heh); it lived up to its reputation nicely. We followed that up with Kung Fu Hustle, a solidly good time. We then manged to get Pichu to drive Mark and myself to mass street for some fun having. We played darts and had much laughter. After returning to Marks I found out why Pichu was difficult to coax a drive out of. I had apparently insulted her earlier in the night (a frequent side-effect of Bobamine) but we made friends later I hope. I got home around 5:00 that night, I needed to sober up and I had a TON of energy drink wrecking havoc on my body.

The next night was the Bone's is GTFO of Kansas party. She threw a party for herself and her gaggle-o-hotness. It didn't have the legendarily huge turnout we were hopping for, but it was a pretty fun night. I hope I didn't piss anyone off to much, but I didn't get that drunk so I don't think I caused to much ruckus. Unfortunately this night had some kind of Brunk (a drunk Brawl) gone wild. Mike/John/Mark tried to get me into a shed, I thought this was less then a good idea. wrastlin' ensued. The net of this is a hairline fracture in Marks elbow and another twist for Drama's skankles. Mike and I managed to escape with only sore necks, hurray! Btw thanks for the party Angelumps!

This weekend actually topped the days I spent drunk from 3 to 4, but I wasn't AS hammered on most of them. Thursday night was a repeat of Drunken DnD. Only this night we rocked out on that so long we couldn't even make it to bars and I was so tired from my week at work I was literally falling asleep at the table before we finished. It was great fun as always though, Drama is one amusing DM with his 'easy' fights that get us all killed, haha. Friday I spent the day seeing a really really long showing of Angels and Demons, it was about 5 hours long. Supposedly some kind of Terminator movie went on during this period but the last Terminator movie I'll ever swear to seeing was T2, the rest is all lies! To blackout the memory of whatever happened at AMC 30 that day I spent the rest of the evening enjoying Margaritas and Long Islands. MrDer and I went to the bars later that night were we got to watch a friend of Gela's and her bro have an uncomfortable moment together. I was hoping for a drama explosion to come forth, but was denied. Saturday was basically just Mark, Jys and myself drinking all day long and playing vidgeo games. Pretty lame, but enjoyable all the same. Everyone else was out of town so that is how we rolled.

Sunday I spent all day cleaning house and fixing various things. I made my tool closet even more spectacular, basically because I had to as I've got a new 12in Single Bevil chop saw in the mail! jessica spent the day cleaning the out-of-doors and indoors as well. That night we hosted a small bbq + bonfire, we had about 8-10 friends come out for it. The weather ended up being very nice and we had a fun night. I chased the rainbow a couple of times, got in a fine amount of hookah on our deck and we even broke out some glow and danced. I wish this would stop happening at EVERY party I throw as it will eventually lose its luster, but I can't very well stop the drunks from breaking them out, haha. And it's always been a good time (so far). Oh and I saw Ben's new motor cycle. I bet all of us got extra attention from our significant others that evening due to residual Ben manliness. Yesterday was basically just recuperating and watching a couple of the NBA games I had recorded but remained unwatched. I finally saw Annie Hall the 'famous' Woody Allen movie. I liked it about as much as I thought I would.

Other then that about all I've been up to is watching a ton of basketball, and that is all I'll probably be up to this week. Oh, and I remembered that part of that empty time in my memory was probably the making of the short term chicken coop. The chickens are much more enjoyable now that they are outside. And they make Jessica happy enough to deal with how much they sometimes will irritate me to think about. I dug some post holes for the new coop but Home Depot was out of concrete posting tubes so I couldn't lay down the concrete yet. I hope to do that tomorrow if it's dry enough and home Depot has the molds in stock, if not then maybe on Friday/Saturday.

When writing a huge post like this it sure makes me hope I can find the right phone soon. It would be nice to have pictures to go along with this post, but my current phone takes really horrible pictures and the bugger doesn't really work right now anyway. Anywho if you actually read that long and poorly written post I salute you! Feel free to post comments, they are always appreciated.

Happy 54 Day!

I've got alot to write on. My mediocre birthday celebrating, my trip to Boonville to have my spirit left out to die, broken, repaired, and enlightened with light. But I've done enough not work for today, so I'll write a good and proper post on my shenanigans later. I just wanted to wish my 1-2 readers a Happy 54 day!

Trippin out

I've been so busy the last couple of weeks and it is no different today. plus I am ridiculous tired today. We switched to the new 5AM start time this week, and it just happens to be the same week that I need to do all of my vacation prep work. As such I've gotten maybe 5 hours of sleep each night this week, so I am pretty burned out.

All of that being said I've had a really good couple of weeks. The NBA playoffs are all over TV right now so I've gotten in ample basketball watching, and for the most part the playoffs are proceeding how I would like (so far). I managed to play a little flag football before the tornadic weather rolled through which is quasi exercise and lots of fun. The rest of the week was mostly about chilling, but it was all relaxing and enjoyable.

The real glory is hopefully coming this weekend when I plan to spend a week mostly drunk at Interfuse, this year will be TOTALLY different from last year. Although last year was a little cold the weather was mostly nice out, this year its basically rain 80% of the time we are going to be there, should be wet, sloppy and fun!

I'll toss up a big post interfuse post, Everyone have a great weekend.

Get down with the Sickness

I've been busy at work lately or not on the computer, so I haven't had a chance to blog in a little while, and this will have to be a short update as well.

I also haven't been able to throw up any updates from home because I got slam danced by a virus. Conflickr came through and wrecked some house on both of our home computers and I've spent most of my free time jacking around with that. Mike has also been most helpful in getting this resolved. The laptop is finally up and running again and I hope to get my home PC all shored up tonight so I can get back to dorfy mischief.

The rents came out on Wednesday which was grand fun until I attempted to copy a wedding DVD they needed duped. That is when I found out the laptop was infected and was merrily infecting my PC over the network. This obviously frustrated me and put me in a sour mood for the remainder of their trip out, hopefully they still had a good time. The Brady monster came out as well and had a good old time holding baby chicks. Although I can hardly say baby anymore, they are like 10yr olds or something already, they grow ridic fast.

The only other shenanigans I got up to this past week was to enjoy a fantastic (and possibly final) party at Angelumps. They hosted a BBQ out at their pad that around 10-12 of us attended. We ate yummy not good for us food, played football, drank drinks, yelled at fatties, fantasised about Ben Farmer, discussed breast men, and in all that excitement John somehow avoided a broken ankle! The reason it may be the last hurrah for their house is that they had a single mom and her three mistakes move in downstairs, blech! I think Der needs to plant asbestos everywhere and get them the heck on out of there. Their backyard is a great spring/summer time hangout spot for all of us in Lawrence, better then anyone else's pad for sure. Ohh wells, maybe if my parents actually get that lawn mower out to my house we can keep our yard in good enough condition to have it be usable for similar events; we shall see.

I apologize for the mostly boring post, not giving it much effort this morning. Off to do some work, BAI!

Dorfs Dorfs Dorfs Dorfs

<- Cute Dorfs!

Way more accuratly depicted Dorfs! - -->

OMG, get the shorties out of my brain! I seriously must have greatly underestimated my wife's tolerance level because she has been absolutely great to me the last few days. My brain has been completely devoured by Dwarf Fortress. It's all I want to do, and its basically all I've been doing. She has taken it all in stride and hasn't complained one bit. I've tried to watch a little TV with her and such, but really I'm wholly consumed by my next batch of migrants in my head. Although there may be some other factors in her above and beyond kindness which I will get into later.

Anyway, a little bit about Dwarf Fortress. Its an ASCII based game (we play a graphically enhanced 'mod' of the game that looks like the picture at the top right) that is part RPG, part Sim City and part the Sims. Its without a doubt the most complex and deep game I have ever played, bar none. I've played it for about a week and I've barely scratched the surface, and I've not mastered a single aspect of the game, besides the 'laugh your ass off' step.

Anyway, this addiction all began thanks to the most hilarious thing I've ever found on the interweb. Behold BOATMURDERED! (at this point I was going to post a link, but they are all blocked here at work, so look it up yourself ya lazy slabs!). Its a 'succession' game blog about the fortress of boatmurdered (the games randomly generated fortress name). Basically several people each ran the fort for one full game year, saved it, and passed it on to the next bloke. They took screen shots and wrote about their adventures at the helm. If you find that blog to be boring, stupid or uninteresting please unfriend me on facebook, disown me from your family and erase my phone number from your contact lists. John, Mike and myself being inspired by that brilliance decided to begin our own escapades in succession DF gaming. I took my turn at the helm a couple of nights ago . I then made about every mistake I could make, but ohh well! It was good fun all the same.

Despite the insane amount of DF being played there have been other happenings at my home stead. Late Monday night I awoke to a a grumbling coming from my basement. I stupidly decided to do some 'investigative reporting' only to find a MUMMY trapped in my basement. He'd got his foot caught in the muck hole/drainage pipe in the basement. I laughed at his misfortunes and that ended up being a mistake. He yelled 'CHHHUUUURRRZZZ' at me, which is apparently drunk mummy for 'curse' and then started talking about the '16 bringers of stink and noise, who would ensorcel my wife to do their bidding'. At this point I assumed this was all a dream and so I helped the Mummy unhook his foot and sent him on his way. He left grumbling something about heading over to watch scrambled porn with Carl.

The next morning the truth in his words became true at about 9Am...

BEHOLD THE FEARSOME BRINGER OF STINK AND NOISE!

Jessica immediately became mesmerized by their maddening peeps and terrifying 'clump tactics'. I remain ever vigilant against their evil ways, and am learning the cat up to be my Holy Champion against the darkness. Wish me luck, I'll need it!

In all seriousness I think my tolerance of said chickens and willingness to help has earned me some DF leeway from the wife. Even if that is not the reason why, I'm thankful to her all the same. I also endeared myself to her yesterday by helping my Dad till or whatever her garden. It was more work then I thought it would be, but it was a wonderful day, and it wasn't really that much work. Plus it was good as always to see David, I haven't seen them much lately. And he had a GREAT idea for the water problem in our front yard. Whenever we actually start on that project I'll unveil the details of his mad genius.

Other than that life has been pretty pedestrian. Went to a birthday bash for my Dad at my parents over the weekend and picked up some lumber from my other Dad. The lumber came from this terrifyingly huge play structure he had in the backyard. If I still have a picture of it on this computer I'll toss it onto the end of the post. Which reminds me I need volunteers to help me get this hilarious 'bouncy bridge' (to the right on the picture) from my Dad's. It seems as though it would be great fun when drunk. I plan to pick that up in the next week or two.

I'm also vaguely aware there was a championship game Monday night, but my hatred for UNC forced me to mostly ignore this happening. I hear tell that they trounced, may they all get herpes! Almost time for break here in work land, until next time...

The Play Structure

I almost forgot, when looking for pictures of Dwarf Fortress I came across this hilarious weather foretelling device!

Ante Up!

Is it just me or could his tie just as easily be a terrifying pink erect penis?

I wanted to make sure I hooked everyone/My Mum up with my birthday list requests. This list is being updated constantly and much of it is largely just a reminder to myself of things that I want 'someday'. I'm also not sure if I've yet made it so that it will tell the buyers but not myself that someone purchased something from the list; I'll jack with that when I have time.

STUFF, GIMME, I NEEDZ IT!

www.wishlist.com/808list

To any interested parties Jessica ended up having an 'emergency' root canal. It seemed to help her out immediately. Even after having surgery that day she was in high spirits that evening and in little to no pain. The downside of this is that although the root canal was completely covered by insurance her 'cap' is only going to be covered 50% leaving us on the hook for $400+ :( But Like I told Jys, I'd rather have the house taken from us then ignore health issues (not that this will cause us to lose the house, least I should hope not, haha).

My baby chicken Armageddon clock is sitting right around 1 week now, as my dread increases Jessica's joy increases at an equal or possibly even faster rate; it boggles the mind! Last night she was reading a pamphlet like printout about keeping baby chicks alive, you apparently have to feed them water at like 98 degree's or they get to cold and die. Effin pansies can't even drink some H2O without nearly dying; I give our cat pretty high odds of giving them all fear induced heart attacks.

I finally started learning to play DWARF FORTRESS! Its about the most complex 'homework' like game I've ever played, despite the difficulty I had the time of my life last night stumbling through its ASCII graphics. The best part might be the tutorial you read while trying to learn to play the game, Jessica probably thought I snuck some nitrous oxide. The reason I am learning to play it is because Mike, John and myself will be taking a fortress through 6 years of development. 2 years by each of us, started by Mikes 2 year reign as overlord. We will keep screenshots and a written diary of our exploits, hopefully it makes for an entertaining read. If we enjoy it enough we plan on doing further games. I'm retarded excited! (suck that disabled!)

We finally bought our Interfuse tickets yesterday; I stress 'finally' because apparently we had to buy them by the 6th, so hurray for getting them in time. I had the time of my life at this weekend of drunken debauchery last year, and I look forward to it like a child molester looks forward to a power outage in the mall. Mike w/ some amount of pathetic help from my own personage hopes to make some kind of fire cannon device in time for the event, but the time draws Nigh! (hmm that made me think of the Knights who say NII!)

As for actual life updates I spent a weekend doing very very little, and it was GREAT! The fact that KU lost was painful and sad; but its amazing what lowered expectations can do for you. If that had happened last year I'd still be on a suicide watch. But as it is I look back on that night with fond memories because I had a great time sitting next to John, Mike, Gary, and Dopple at Jefferson's soaking up the atmosphere (and the liquor). Ohh, and there were some ladies at the table as well apparently... The rest of the weekend involved a stupefying amount of movie watching... In closing are my remembered remembrances of movies watched.

Religulous - I truly enjoyed this movie, the coolest part I thought was when the parallels were drawn between the various religious fairy tales. AKA virgin Mary, Resurrection and other popular godly fairy tales.

King of Kong, a Fistful of quarters - Never in my life have I hated nerds so whole heartedly. You don't hate all of them, but the super nerds are such DOOOSH BOMBS! I completely recommend this documentary though.

Sicko - Never have I wanted to be a Canadian more then after watching this movie. Even more then when I knew there was an imagined prospect of having a Zamboni driving, drug dealing, topless neighbor. Plus OMG even the dirty french are superior to us in health care, damn it all! Give me socialized medicine for the love of health!

Twilight - I'm not sure what kind of enjoyment you are 'supposed' to get out of this movie, but I enjoyed it. I found it to be totally hilarious, the only way I can think of to describe the faces the vamps (mainly the lead) make in this movie is the following: Imagine you are coming to 'fruition', taking a crap and practicing being a stoic English guard - that roughly sums it up. The actual 'plot' seems semi interesting though, and I got alot of back story from the wife.

The Savages - Phillip Seymour Hoffman once again making an indie movie and knocking it out of the park. His co lead Laura Linney may have even out shined him. I'm not sure Jessica enjoyed the movie much, but I love it. It reminded me a small bit of Sideways in its pacing. It didn't bring the funny as HARD as Sideways does, but it did bring it in the same timely fashion as Sideways. I also recommend this, but only if you enjoy flat-indie-humor.

And in closing....

HAPPY APRIL JOHNS DAY! (BADUM CHING!)

Clipped wings, Triple dubs and Creamy faces! (oh my!)

Its been a long long while since I last threw up a post. The reason for this is two fold, the first is that I apparently manged to use up my 5 gig limit via an Edge connection, no clue how I managed that. Because of this I have no Internets at home right now. Secondly although I've had time to post at work, I've spent it doing 'research' meaning I've spent it reading about the Iphone and various MP3 devices.

I'll attempt to remember the last 3 or so weeks in chrono order, I know the first hunk of joy I experienced came in the form of Angela's Birfday Bash.

stupid side note. Even after updating my blog the only way I am able to move this around in the text is to actually edit the HTML, pretty durn stupid! also girl in middle is the Legendary Seedorficus Hauticus enacting her haut barrier, not even the tricky DJ 'doosh face' was able to crack the shield.

It was as fun as advertised. Although I've come to the conclusion that you can't eat anywhere on mass street for your birthday unless you're a big fan of horrendous service. I think we sat around waiting to pay for a full 45 minutes until someone saw fit to deliver a bill. Then it was another 15 minutes until someone felt like picking the bill back up. This led to us being an hour late to the Sauna, er I mean Karaoke room. Imagine all the comfort of a clown car, all the heat of the LWO and all the awkward of an enkai and you can picture this karaoke room. I think we were only there for an hour and split out. It should be noted that between the karaoke club and the 'bar' (put in quotes because Brothers is more of a dooshbag watering hole then a bar) Ang had a wardrobe change, it was classic Ang.

Anyway, the bar was a really fun time. Two stories in particular stand out in my memory. The first is the story behind that picture. More or less since I've known Ang she's fed us sweet nothings on the unbelievable force of beauty known as Kelly Seedorf. She has been described as having an advanced 'haut guy' barrier that re-diverts the likes of us to wing-women and beer-goggle-morning-mistakes. We were lead to believe her Chesticular pressence would have us JIMPing at first sight; this however was not the case. Kelly is certainly an attractive lass, but there are only a handful of women on the planet that could have lived up the legend. My second favorite happening was the owning via awkward of Mr. Popped collar. While Jones/MrDer/myself were dancing w/ Ang/(Traveling circus of hot chicks) some hilarious supreme doosh came grinding into the group. I figured the easiest and funniest away to send him on his merry was to return the grinding favor. His tiny D-bag brain was unable to cope with the situation and he fled as fast as he could, I chuckled for a great while afterwards.

A few scant weeks after the travesty of Ginovese (the restaurant on mass we attended for the Ang bashtacular) we finally found a restaurant that IS awesome for birfday parties! All hail Casa Agave! Casa Agave is a new mexican't restaurant that opened rather close to where I live, it has affordable meals and is most tasty (IMO). However its birthday wishes are what truly make it great. The ridiculous fun begins with 4 of our 10 member group ordering margarita's of ridiculous size. I believe they are called 'monsters'; they are 27 oz margarita's in a giant marg glass, very silly looking! Anyway we inform the waiter that its Mike's birthday and before long a grouping of probably 8 spanish/mexican men come forth to serenade Michael. And a waitress brings him out a GIANT fried ice cream platter, with TONS of whip cream. She then proceeds to stand around awkwardly for the duration of the singing. The singing to me sounded like a group of Mexicans singing an Italian love song in Spanish; but I'm told it was just some Spanish birthday wishes song. They then follow this up with an American happy birthday (with us singing along of course).

Then the reason for the waitress to be lingering is finally made clear when she begins to spoon feed Mike the fried ice cream. This led to a sneak attack that I never would have seen coming! On the fourth or so spooning of whip cream into his mouth she neatly, efficiently and purposefully whipped an entire spoon of whip cream all over his face. Photo ops, laughter at our table, laughter by random strangers, smiles, joy, cures for cancer. It was an excellent birthday meal to say the least.

In much sadder news, that same week Jessica suffered from a cruel attack of GINGIVITIS!

She is on some fun pain meds and antibiotics now, and it appears to be helping alot, but she is going to have a follow-up exam by a specialist this Wednesday. If you somehow still believe there is a god send her your prayers, otherwise just send her luck bolts! Ohh and she doesn't actually have GINGIVITIS! I just needed an excuse to put up a cartoon monster. Its some kind of broken tooth or something, I'll know more after Wednesday I hope.

Now back to joyous experiences! The unstopable force met the very movable, kickable and piss-on-you-when-your-down'able object this weekend when the Kansas Aldrich's tore apart the Dayton 'flyers' (hilarious name!). It was touch and go, especially in the first half, and I'm still terrified about us being a two man team. But if Aldrich plays like that we will crush everyone! Plus the competition on our way to the FF is less intimidating then I first thought it was. My bracket did take a kick in the junk that probably knocks me out of the tournament when Mizzou rode gutless tactics and referee computer assistance to the Sweet Sixteen. My poor Golden Eagles had their wings clipped prematurely. Makes me very sad, they are a very fun team to watch.

In non-event news we have a couple of new purchases living with us. The first of them are two new sofa pieces. We now have what looks like a very tall capital L in our living room (Jessica has photo's but she hasn't been blogging lately). I really love how we can buy these piece by piece (we have 5 pieces now). It lets us gather a nice couch a little bit at a time and allows us to change the design of it as we see fit. I think we will end up making it an additional piece thicker in the middle but otherwise it will be exactly the same. The other new addition is very dangerous new device. It gives off unhealthy levels of cool radiation. I've been playing extra sessions of D&D and Magic the Gathering in order to live in such close proximity to its hipness. Jessica is the first to get one, but I plan on getting one as well as soon as we can afford for me to do so.

Beware its brain altering cool!

Really the only other development in my life is an addition to my after-work work-out. I've always spent around 45min-60min doing a basic rotation weight regimen but as I've gotten plumper then I've ever wished to be I've decided to kick it up a notch and add in some yogging. currently I'm running about 3 miles in around 25 minutes (with a 5 minutes cool down). I've managed to force myself to do this everyday except when my Ipod dies prematurely, its just to hard to make myself run in silence for 30 minutes. That is much of the reason I am down with getting an Iphone so I have a new MP3 playing device.

Well this has already gotten way out of hand, so to my royal reader(s) I say adu!

Spring?!?

(I can only assume the reason I can't move these photo's anywhere is because my work users IE6 which is painful in ways you can only know if you are forced to websurf without tab browsing as well. Anyway these photo's will make more sense with further reading. The second picture is just me wondering why I have a beer in my hand.)

I don't want to jump to conclusions but is Spring actually on its way? Its supposed to be 80 degree's of bliss today! I've looked into Obama's weather plan for the rest of the week and it gets 'chilly' again after Saturday, but I think it still has highs in the 50s! Now if I can just get the rest of this Poison Ivy to bugger off I'll be ready for outside wonderment!

We have Ang's Birfday partay this Saturday, I'm looking forward to it! Not so much because its Ang's birfday but because we finally get uncorked on the elusive Seedorf! I plan on drinking whatever amount properly prepares me to embarrass everyone present except for myself as I long ago became immune to my own shenanigans. I'm really hoping my hair is long enough to 'top knot' or at least to 'multi knot.' That should make me 'pretty' enuf to sit in genovese, amirite?

Ok, enuf looking into the year 2000, might as well tell my 1-2 readers all of whom already know what I have been up to... what I have been up to (try making sense of that, I dare you!).

Last weekend Karma put the pimp hand down. I spent Saturday evening/night over at gary's kept-man(I use this term very loosely)-lodge at a haut-ub party. It was a ridiculous amount of fun, a whole lot was drank, pong was played, asses were pounded - but not in the same way as is custom in DJ/Hamids home, paddles were broken, tickles were dished out, and what can only be described as a violently/joyfully/erotic game of leg king of the hill was played. My punishment for this came two fold. The first of which involved a confusing trip into Walmart at 3:00 that morning. Why we 'had' to go shopping at that ungodly time with my legs barely listening to my slurred commands I'll never know. I'm pretty sure I spent 4 decades wandering its hallowed halls in search of Mush (polentia if you hate Amurika) only to come up empty handed and disheartened.

The second punishment came the morning after. At some unholy hour of the day like 9:30 Jessica starts frantically getting out of bed which awoke me from my slumber. When asked why she would be moving when not moving seemed to be where the smart money was she responded that she thought she heard a knock on the door. I mostly assumed this was either a case of her paranoid hearing of things or at most a postman that was drugged out and thought today was Monday. Turns out it was the people who wanted to take our beleaguered hot tub off our hands. Why they were out at this time of day with 4 inches of snow on the ground only Beelzebub himself could tell you, but there they were, waiting for us to arise. Thus did I face the cold, unfriendly morning with a pounding headache and zero motivation. After an hour or so they were gone with the haut-ub in tow, but I knew I had done wrong the night before to pay for a night of haut-ub bliss with a morning of haut-ub pain.

Other then that all I've been up to is minimal house work and attempting to update my Ipod, btw if anyone reading this knows anything about Ipods after I get this thing all updated is it fairly easy to transfer everything exactly as it is on this Ipod to a new model? I really hope so cause to say this thing is on its last legs would be giving false hope to paraplegics. But its given me a reason to listen through various albums I had not yet listened to, dig through Mikes neverending supply of terrible music for that which I want to keep and remind me of what music I need to download at a whopping 3k/sec or whatever trash rate I get. I really really really want to hook an antenna up to our internet so that its not so terrible, it fairly regularly picks up the 3G signal now, but it picks it up so weakly I try to make it switch back to edge as edge is actually faster at its far superior signal strength. Currently our money is being siphoned by my boy blue, our couch. We bought the most expensive of all the parts to it a week ago, but it won't arrive for another couple of weeks. Then we only have 3 more pieces to buy (I think) and they are all the 'cheapish' parts. But each still comes in at around $150+ after shipping.

I've finally gotten myself back in the swing of things as far as going to the gym. Its not that I've been a whole lot the last couple weeks, but the times I have gone I've actually enjoyed it again. I have no idea what changed, maybe its just spring time. I don't want to figure it out either way, I'm just happy that its fun to do again. I'm hoping the weather clears up enough in the next couple o weeks that myself and the band of merry men can once again play a rousing game of broken ankles that some people call football once a week. I'm in desperate need of some excuse such as that to start getting in shape, so that on the weekends and a night or two of tennis during the week should go a long way towards making me less of an American.

And just so everyone knows, I still believe the Dream of Tyler Thigpin, but apparently the Chiefs don't...

Trudge through the Sludge

First of all, I haven't forgotten all about my blogginz, I was just knocked into a state of depression over the cold war I continue to wage with the Internet overlords. I believe we are closer now then we ever have been to having a reliable, quick(relatively speaking) internet connection. But so far its not even a moral victory. Whenever we manage to climb back out of poverty status we'll buy ourselves an antenna to boost our reception and if that fails a booster to boost the reception. And if that fails we'll get a fuzz booster, boost fuzz to fuzz up the boost (sweet, sweet Big Hit). But until then its TV for outside information and 'every once in a while' internet.

Since so much time has gone by I don't see the point in rehashing everything. My professional life is only made to look good by the mind numbing self loathing atrocity of my personal life. I go on vacation this week, hopefully that goes well. Hope everyone has a great weekend and takes adv of that 60 degree Saturday. And Go Cards! I don't really care who wins the superbowl, but I would like the cards to take it home. I'll be watching it in Durango, BYE!